Why We Need To Take Charge Of Managing A Bad Temper

Managing a bad temper can be difficult, but is essential to our own well-being, besides those of others around us. 

In one of the horrific murders that occurred in Bengaluru some time back, a husband brutally bludgeoned his wife after having a quarrel with her. When the mother-in-law intervened, the raging husband didn’t spare her too. She too became the victim of his heinous crime.

The most astonishing part was that he sneaked out of the house slyly, while his children aged six and two years were asleep in the next room. The act was committed in a fit of rage and unfortunately the lives of these kids would never be the same again, without the love and protection of their mother.

Disaster can strike, if one can’t take charge of their tempers. Yet, we need to accept that controlling our tempers has been one of the biggest challenges we’ve found difficult to overcome. It is tough; no doubt. It’s a practice that needs to be cultivated overtime and the process of taking charge of our tempers may not be an easy ride but it’s achievable.

Opinions often differ and differences crop up among family and friends; however, two mature adults can choose to resolve disputes calmly. Without being violent, abusive and insulting. It’s a turn off to meet people who are ill- tempered. They can be unpredictable and it can be very frustrating being around hot tempered people.

Anger management is an important issue today because times have changed and it is important to discuss it. Keeping a cool mind is a challenge most of us face today. But if our emotions are transformed into rage then things could turn for the worse. Rage is the prime source of violence, fights, unhealthy arguments at home and it spreads hatred. Being hot tempered intensifies resentful feelings, hatred and anger within us. It’s because of bad management of anger and people becoming hubs of bitter feelings that there is so much hostility and badness in our society and communities. Being in control of our tempers is a step towards fostering peace and harmony.

Continue reading here -> Women’s Web

Note : This Post was first published in Women’s Web. 

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4 thoughts on “Why We Need To Take Charge Of Managing A Bad Temper

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  1. It’s pointless to be angry and better take a deep breath rather than committing something we will regret later. So many lives were destroyed due to anger, Diana.
    Glad to see you back with a bang after long:)

  2. The OM journey

    When first introducing Yoga students to chanting, it is common practice to start them with the OM chant and get them used to it before introducing any mantras at all. This established initiation procedure not only responds to the founding and essential nature of this syllable in Yogic philosophy and texts (OM is the cosmic syllable, the eternal, unity and source, the seed of any idea, word, thought, or thing in nature. OM is everything we can and cannot touch, see, feel and think. Everything is OM and OM is All) but also to the fact that our prejudices and shyness are not as strongly grounded for OM chanting as they are for mantras. OM being a single syllable allows us to be less self-conscious of our singing skills and the abstract and complex nature of its meaning and translation allows us to detach from its devotional or praying nature.

    Religious devotion and mysticism aside, I realised that singing OM on a regular basis has numerous positive physical effects in our bodies mostly due to the internal vibration of the sound in itself. It has been scientifically proved that singing OM has invaluable vibratory effects in our bodies, helps to achieve slow, regular and complete exhalation, aids to control and relax our breathing system and has several soothing effects in our minds. However, stating such benefits is frequently insufficient, it seems to me that it is essential to understand the physical explanations than underlay these benefits for a change in perception to occur in our western epistemological minds. Thus, we are now going to take the time to develop each of them separately, in order to understand why and how when we are chanting OM we aren’t just singing, nor praying, but enabling a series of positive physical changes to occur in our bodies and mind, making us feel better than we did before.

    Of the above mentioned, the most powerful physical benefit of chanting OM is related with its vibratory effects. The sustained ‘O’ -formed by the ‘AU’- sound makes all the bones of the thoracic cage vibrate, proving that vibration is communicated to the mass of air contained in our lungs and that the delicate membrane of alveolus in contact with this air vibrates too, this stimulates the pulmonary cells and enables an optimum gaseous exchange in our lungs. Furthermore, the latest research of many Western physiologists has also shown how this vibration produces very accentuated effects in the endocrine glands, to which Science is gradually attributing an increasing importance.

    More specifically, Dr.Leser-Lasario dedicated 25 years of study to the effects of vocal vibrations in the human body and his work has concluded, with an absolute scientific rigor, that the emission of vowels during exhales causes a vibratory auto-massage of the internal organs. These vibrations reach the deepest tissues and nervous cells, intensifying blood circulation in the target tissues and internal organs. Internal secreting glands are equally stimulated to secrete their hormones directly into the bloodstream and the lymph (pituitary, pineal, thyroids, thymus, adrenals and gonads), and this vibration of the vocal chords similarly influences both the sympathetic and vagus nerve. The musculature of the breathing apparatus is both relaxed and strengthened, expanding the thoracic cavity and thus the pulmonary capacity, an enlarged breathe which translates in an increase of oxygen supply to the whole body. Besides, the vibrant internal massage resulting from the emission of the vowels ‘au’, acts especially in the abdominal organs and the organs of the thoracic cage, whilst the vibration of the ‘mmm’ in our skulls induces a vibration of the cranial nerves.

    The OM being chanted during the exhalation, it directly contributes to make it slow, regular and complete. The emission of the ‘Au’ sound limits the pace of the expired air, and the benefits of slow breathing are numerous and well known by Yoga practitioners (increased lung capacity results in a higher supply of oxygen, increased vitality, cleansing of the bloodstream and toxins in the lungs, and calming of the brain, amongst others). Regular exhale is a direct result of a uniform emission of the ‘au’ sound, which, if prolonged until the end of our capacity, assures the complete emptiness of our lungs. This complete, regular and slow breathing enables us to totally expel the stale air from our lungs and reduce as much as possible the volume of residAs an immediate and direct consequence of this integral emptying of the lungs, our inhale enlarges and deepens progressively, increasing our lung capacity and oxygen supply with the previously stated beneficial effects.

    Chanting Om correctly will also help us to relax and gain control over our breathing apparatus. And last of all, the OM chanting produces direct effects in our minds that are just as important as the effects it has in our body. The abstract and complex meaning of the syllable OM makes its way into our minds intercepting the flow of thoughts we are constantly submitted too. Our mental stuff is made out of words, when we think, talk, dream and even when we talk to ourselves internally; we use words in detriment of images. However, when the air is expelled from our lungs, accompanied by the sound OM and the vibration of the vocal chords, it occupies entirely our conscience inhibiting the process of sentence construction in our minds. Gaining the control over our minds to restrain this continuous flow of thoughts to which we are constantly subjected is the ultimate goal of Yoga practice and it can only be achieved through meditation -liberating the mind of all thoughts, what we would define as leaving the mind blank for a sustained period of time-, but gaining mastery of the mind is a long and difficult process. Therefore, the OM reveals itself as the first taste of this sensation for a new practitioner, it provides a sort of parenthesis to our minds in which we experience a preliminary detachment of this flow of thoughts that we are so used to having we can no longer conceive as possible to restrain. The fact is, OM chanting on its own will not restrain it, but it aids in achieving the first step: slowing it down. As a result of this temporary vacation from our thoughts, the mind is calmed, and because the mind governs the whole body, its calm state will in turn reflect in a further relaxation of the latest too. Furthermore, concentration becomes easier and your mind is awaken, while the electromagnetic waves produced by the vibration are spread throughout all the body increasing dynamism and vitality. The experiences of Dr. Leser-Lasario greatly proved how the entire body is relaxed by the internal vibrant-massage, which mentally liberates us from our inhibitions, depressions and complexes, harmonizing our psyches.

    Learning these scientific explanations underlying the benefits of OM chanting in my body was a crucial step for me to change my preconceived judgement. From then onwards I started to consider it another Yoga exercise, freed from any suspicion, this enabled me to observe its effects in my body, in my breath, in my mood.

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